Friday, October 08, 2004
Memo to W
Dear Mr. President:
While I hold no illusions that your presidential duties coupled with debate preparations permit you time to consult the blogosphere for debate advice, I will never the less offer such advice, as I believe said advice is far superior to most advice offered by the MSM punditry. As your time is short, I will be brief.
1. Be yourself.
This may sound simple, but its imperative. You are, despite your pedigree, an average guy from West Texas. You speak simply and plainly. Lurch does not. He loves to give answers fraught with nuance. You don't do nuance, and neither do the majority of the American people. Remember the advice of the British Admiral Lord Nelson.
Never mind the maneuvers. Always go straight at them!2. Be bold, but stop short of being overbearing.
We are at war. Americans know this. This election is all about who can lead this nation to victory in this war. Stay focused on this. Speak to the people, not to Lurch.
3. Go after the Lurch's senate record.
Big Time did a fantastic job highlighting the senate records of both Lurch and the Breck Girl. Both fall far short of anything resembling distinguished. Remember your Sun Tzu's Art of War from the Harvard Business School
If he prepares to defend many places, then the forces will be few in number.Lurch can't defend all aspects of his record. Hell, most of the time he can't even remember where he stands.
Therefore, if he prepares to defend the front, the back will be weak.
If he prepares to defend the back, the front will be weak.
If he prepares to defend the left, the right will be weak.
If he prepares to defend the right, the left will be weak.
If he prepares to defend everywhere, everywhere will be weak.
4. Perceived weakness is an advantage
Lurch thinks he has you on the ropes. That is a good thing. I again point you to General Tzu:
If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.Follwing that with Wang Tzu:
The good tactician plays with his adversary as a cat plays with a mouse, first feigning weakness and immobility, and then suddenly pouncing upon him.Sylvester Stallone's Rocky Balboa epitomized this strategy at the end of the first Rocky. He allowed Apollo Creed to believe he was winning, only to have Rocky pummel him with body blows. Now is the time for body blows. Lurch has a glass jaw. He doesn't take criticism well. How will you know you're getting under his skin? He'll remind you he served in Vietnam.
Mr. President, its time to be subtly ruthless. You do this very well, I know. I've seen it. Don't over prepare for this show. Speak to the people, not to Lurch. Use humor to your advantage. Every time Lurch tries to be funny its painful - for him, and for us.
I'll freely admit I'm one of your most ardent supporters. I don't want you just to beat this guy. I want you to open up a large can of good old fashioned Texas Whoopass on the arrogant, elitist, frenchified pansy that is the Junior Senator from Massachusetts.
That said, I'll let you get back to your debate prep. Good luck.
Go get 'em, W.
Here endeth the lesson.