Iranian Mullah Memo
Wouldn't this be refreshing honesty in the art of Intercultural Communications?
To: Iranian Mullahs with Nuclear Ambitions
Subject: Pushing Your Luck
Just in case you guys were wondering, I am aware of your nuclear ambitions. I am also aware of the fact that the agreement you signed with the European Union regarding the suspension of your nuclear program isn't worth the parchment its written on.
You may think me stupid, gullible, or just downright ignorant. In some ways, I guess you might be right.
You see, I can't remember - do I have four armored divisions in Iraq or was it five? In all the confusion and fog of war, I just can't be sure. I'm also not really clear on how many B-2 Bombers are in my arsenal. That's why I keep the Joint Chiefs close. They remember stuff like that for me.
That said, let me get to the point of this memo. I have a simple question for y'all.
Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, punks?
I ask this question out of concern that you may not understand your predicament. You're looking down the business end of the most heavily armed, highly trained, battle ready, and ruthless fighting forces ever to be assembled on the face of the earth. It has the capability of returning you and your robed colleagues to the dust from whence you came without so much as breaking a sweat.
While you may think we're not capable to deal with the insurgency in Iraq and also take care of you and your nukes, I would caution you not to bet against the abilities of the United States Armed Forces. Don't take my word for it. Ask Saddam.
I know you're used to dealing with Chirac and the rest of the EU. You may be able to push your luck with them, but we play by different rules here in the US. You harbor, support, and otherwise cheer on terrorists and terrorism. We don't much like that here.
Don't push your luck.
The Freakiest Thing I've Ever Seen
by Thom the Blog Culler
Okay, it may be a little off topic for the blog, but you really should take a moment and look at this optical illusion.
What can I say more?
Profuse apologies for the lack of posting over the holiday weekend. Most of my rather large family made themselves welcome at the Cordeiro Homestead and it was all I could do to make sure my house was still bolted to the foundations upon their departure.
I really like Thanksgiving. It is one of the truly American holidays about which the rest of the world understands very little - and I'm alright with that. Families gather from near and far to indulge in the Turkey day rituals. Much turkey is consumed, and football is played by those who would be safest watching it from the stands. I'm sure ERs around the country are filled with ankle and knee injuries sustained by wannabe Heiseman candidates.
And no, I'm not talking about the lack of football prowess made clear by the Dallas Cowboys.
This Thanksgiving also marked the passing of a modern American hero. Johnny Micheal Spann died on November 25, 2001.
Much time has passed since then, so I'll understand if that name doesn't ring a bell with you. Mike Spann lived a life that was spectacular to those people who actually knew what he did for a living. To those who did not need to know, he was just another ordinary guy. That's all part of the job description for an Operations Officer working for the CIA's Directorate of Operations.
You see, Mike Spann was the first casualty sustained by the United States in response to the events of September 11, 2001. Mike's boots were some of the first on the ground in Afghanistan. As a former Marine, combat operations were ingrained in Mike like driving is for most of the rest of us. His country called, he answered. It truly was that simple.
He was killed in action during a prison riot. The CIA broke a long standing tradition of secrecy in releasing some of the details surrounding his death to the public. His is one of the 83 stars adorning the CIA Memorial Wall at Langley. As a fallen Marine, he more than earned the right to be buried along side this nation's honored dead at Arlington National Cemetery.
As part of my Thanksgiving, I made a pilgrimage to Arlington. Mike's grave can be found in Section 34, Grave Number 2359. It sits on a slight rise overlooking the Pentagon and Northern Virginia. It is a fitting place for a hero.
This Thanksgiving, I give thanks for all those who defend this great nation at home, and abroad - especially those who have given the last full measure of devotion to their country.
Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
"Let me not mourn for the men who have died fighting, but rather let me be glad that such heroes lived." - Lt. General George S. Patton
Here endeth the lesson.
Thom's Pic of the Day - A Public Service from the United States Military
by Thom the Blog Culler
Offering Express Service Since October 2001
What can I say more?
Thom's Pic of the Day - Communist Love Fest
by Thom the Blog Culler
Somehow, I suspect the feeling is mutual.
What can I say more?
So it's official. Dan "Superscript" Rather is being put out to the CBS pasture known as 60 Minutes, along with Mike Wallace and other CBS News faces of yesteryear.
"It has been, and remains, an honor to be welcomed into [the ever dwindling number of] your homes in the evening and I thank you for the trust you have given me [despite my obvious partisanship and disregard for fact]," Rather said when he made his announcement.Lest we weak-minded, religious zealot Americans think this has anything to do with the forged documents CBS used in an attempt to unseat President Bush, Rather assured his audience that he's been talking this over with CBS brass since 1999.
Rather's agent said "it would be a shame if the Guard story becomes Rather's defining moment." The liberals say the same thing about Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, as evidenced by the exhibits in the newly opened Clinton Lie-brary. "Don't let a scandal be his legacy; what about all the great things he did?"
The truth is that when people are dishonest, they must face the consequences. In the cases of Clinton and Rather, they both lied, tried to cover up their stories, and got caught. And for that, they shall always be remembered.
The S.S. Superscript, AKA CBS News, has been slowly sinking for years now. It ranks last among the big three network news agencies. The arrival of Fox News and other news sources has been another torpedo blow to the bow. CBS News may be losing some ballast with the exit of Rather, but it would appear that they've already taken on too much water.
But take heart, CBS. Upon Rather's announcement, a moment of silence was observed in France.
With that I return to my capitalist endeavors.
John Wayne goes to Chile
As you may or may not know, W was is Chile this week for a APEC summit meeting with various world leaders. Much of the good that came from these meetings has been eclipsed by the arrogant actions of a few Chilean security guards who attempted to separate W from his Secret Service detail.
For those of you unfamiliar with the in's and outs of a protective detail, this is a bad thing. The agent was justifiably upset and a scuffle followed. The Chileans wouldn't let him join W, and he was doing his best to get through to the man he is sworn to protect with his own life if necessary.
W, upon seeing the scuffle, waded into the fray, grabbed the agent by the collar and pulled him through the Chilean wall of thugs. Frenchified journalists around the world were stunned at the sight of the President of the United States acting in such a way.
The Washington Times reports that La Cuarta, a Santiago newspaper, described W's actions as a "total breach of protocol" and referred to him as "John Wayne...definitely acting like a cowboy."
Memo to La Cuarta: Thank you for your accurate description of our President. You see, we elected a "take charge" guy to lead our nation. We admire the traits of machismo he exhibits on the world stage. You can't push him, or his security detail around. W's actions in regard to the Secret Service Agent were a marked demonstration of determination and courage - roughly described in your tongue as cajones. The world would be much better off if more leaders had such traits.
By the way, there are far worse people to be compared to than John Wayne. Jacques Chirac comes to mind.
Here endeth the lesson.
Blue State Blues
by Thom the Blog Culler
Please - You've got to read this! It is one of the funniest things I have ever read.
What can I say more?
For those of you familiar with my writing style, you know I am not prone to fits of political correctness. My commentary today will focus on the changing culture of the NBA from one of great athletes playing a great sport to one of thugs, who were it not for their ability to throw an orange ball through an iron hoop, would most likely be in solitary lockdown in a facility to be chosen by the state department of corrections.
Yesterday during a game between the Indiana Pacers and the Detroit Pistons, a fight broke out first between a player and a fan, and then escalated to a bench clearing brawl resulting in the suspension of nine or so players from both teams - some for the remainder of the season. You can read about the details here, if you choose.
Like most people, I heard about this game on the evening news. Why? Because I did not watch the game. I don't watch NBA games much anymore. Why? Mostly because I can't stand the people playing the game. This was not always the case.
It days far too long past, the game was played by men who played for the fans, for the love of the game, and for the fun of the whole NBA lifestyle. I'm not saying these guys were role models or anything of the sort. Guys like Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Karl Malone, and John Stockton played the game like it should be played. They controlled their tempers, for the most part, and never would have launched themselves into the stands because someone threw a cup of ice at them. That kind of behavior was beneath such men.
What has changed? Youth and irresponsibility for one. The NFL doesn't allow high schoolers to enter the draft - for good reason. 18 year old kids don't have the maturity to play in the big leagues. College ball seasons them to the point they can, for the most part, be successful.
It seems to me that the NBA has been taken over by an inner-city gang mentality on the part of its players. When faced with a rowdy fan, they seek to unload on the fan instead of lighting up the scoreboard so the aforementioned fan has nothing to yell about. The immaturity among the ranks of the NBA players is stunningly obvious.
I miss the days when basketball was a beautiful sport to watch. I hope David Stern's suspensions will hold true and not be branded as a racist reaction to the brawl. I hope it can somehow turn back the clock on thugs who are ruining the once great institution of Professional Basketball.
Needless to say, I'm not holding my breath.
The Hunt for a Blue October
Oh, what a week it has been. Quick commentary, as Mrs. Cordeiro has a list of things for me to do today.
Although he had more class than Algore in the way he conceded defeat, he has evidently decided to follow his presidential loser mentor in coming up for reasons for his political demise. In classic Lurch fashion, he has taken several position on the matter. Here is a short and by no means complete list of blamable groups or individuals (according to Lurch):
Usama Bin Laden: Lurch claims (a view also held by Nancy "San Francisco Treat" Pelosi) that the Binny Laden video tilted more voters to W. While this is possibly true, Pelosi's claim that Lurch had a lead prior to the tape is not. I'd ask what planet she's on, but I'm not sure I want to know the answer.
Lurch Ground Forces
In a TV interview I saw on Fox (can't remember where they got it) Lurch says his ground game wasn't good enough. No, Lurch. Your ground game was fine. Ours was just better.
Foxnews, Sinclair Broadcasting, Swiftboat Veterans for Truth, and Right Wing Talk Radio
Market forces are very strong things, Lurch. People watch and listen to the above listed entities because they want to. For some reason, they find those sources more reliable than the MSM. I can't imagine why.
Yes, Lurch has blamed the media for its coverage of his campaign. Lurch, if their coverage were any more pro-left, they would've had you wearing their logos on that pristine Carhart jacket of yours.
Somewhere in a darkened democrat campaign bunker, an exhausted staffer is looking at these statements and repeating the immortal last words of the Executive Officer to the captain aboard the Soviet Alfa class submarine in The Hunt for Red October just before the Alfa is blown up by its own torpedo.
You arrogant ass, you've killed us!
And one final note.
Kudos to Peter Jennings for his interview with Bill Clinton on Primetime Live this week. He got under Clinton's skin by asking direct questions, and also calling der Schliekmeister on his obvious doubletalk. Clinton came unglued and lapsed into long disproved allegations of persecution. Claiming "You don't want to go there, Peter, not after what you and your network did, parroting the lies of Ken Starr..."
We've already been there, Bill. And that, despite everything in that double wide library of yours, is your legacy.
Here endeth the lesson.
Newsflash: Soldiers Actually Kill People
Why is it that whenever U.S. soldiers actually do their jobs, there are outcries of torture and abuse? A story which has been in wide circulation involves the video of a U.S. soldier shooting and killing a terrorist. There are cries of abuse, and complaints of a disintegrated chain of command.
I simply refer to a little red book kept in my desk drawer: a dictionary, and the definition of "war":
Well, there it is in black and white. Even the people who write dictionaries seem to understand the nature of war. In armed conflicts, people die. Especially rogue dimwits opposing U.S. Marines.
the waging of armed conflict against an enemy; "thousands of people were killed in the war"
What the video showed was a Marine shooting a man on the ground. We didn't see what happened 10 seconds earlier, 20 seconds earlier, 1 minute earlier. What had this man done previously? The whole world is chomping at the bit to convict our neighbor, when to me the circumstantial evidence says he had every reason to take the actions he did. Well done, Marine.
Some months ago I spoke with a reservist returned from Iraq. Shortly after the U.S. Forces took control of Iraq, this young man was sent in to Baghdad. They spent their days driving up and down the city streets, waiting for people to shoot at them. When someone was naive enough to open fire, they were promptly eliminated.
One day as they drove up a street, a boy, about 10 years of age, ran out of an alley, holding something in his hand, and he had his arm wound back to throw it at them. The reservist I spoke with didn't hesitate one second. He fired, struck the boy, who later died.
As it turns out, the boy was holding a rock. But, as the reservist said, given the nature of the threats they had been facing over the previous weeks, he had every reason to believe it was a grenade or something even worse. As he said to me:
"I'm not about to wait and see what it was he was holding. It would have been too late. And I'm certainly not going to write a letter to the wife of one of my men, explaining that I 'could have saved your husband, but instead decided to make sure he was going to die before I defended him.'"I'd add the following: When I was 10, I knew enough not to throw rocks at big guys in armored vehicles carrying automatic weapons.
Newsflash: Mosques aren't holy when used as military fortresses
This is another subject which I have discussed previously. If a building, considered sacred by a given group of people, is used as a military fortress, the sacred nature of the building is no longer of importance. Indeed, the term "desecration" means to make "not holy". From my limited understanding of Islam, these buildings are not sacred once they have been hijacked for the purposes of terrorism.
Why, then, are Muslim communities outraged when we go in and remove the offenders who desecrated the place to begin with? Once we've done our job, they can put their places of worship back in order and continue on with life.
Yet the world media shows our troops storming into mosques and raiding hospitals, without offering the perspective that once we've done this, those buildings can again be employed for the peaceful purposes for which they were constructed.
Unfortunately for terrorists (and those of you on the left who whine every time we kill someone), John Kerry lost the election. There will be no "more compassionate" war on terror. In this war, people will die. In this war, people will be taken out of their hiding places. In this war, freedom and democracy will prevail.
Extreme Makeover: Senate Edition
Now airing on C-SPAN, Extreme Makeover: Senate Edition.
C-SPAN is getting in on the reality TV business, apparently it's too lucrative to pass up. In today's episode, we visit with Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA). Just a few short weeks ago, Senator Specter tried to score cheap political points at home by acting tough and issuing a "warning" to President Bush.
Then followed two weeks of letter writing, phone calls and complaints from all across the United States. Senator Specter, after a rousing round of "Whoopin'", stated yesterday that he would gladly approve judicial nominations submitted by President Bush, and would indeed help speed them on their way.
Can we say, "Attitude adjustment"?
To his credit, Senator Specter has not blocked previous Bush judicial nominations. His record demonstrates his willingness to support the President, even if it means putting his own priorities aside. Some say he's "all talk", in hopes of receiving the chairmanship, and will subsequently turn on the President. Regardless, he's on a "short leash," according to one conservative political watchdog.
I think Arlen learned his lesson ("Don't Mess with Texas") and will behave. If not, he'll once again incur the wrath and fury of so-called "values voters".
Thom's Pic of the Day - The Presidential Doublewide
by Thom the Blog Culler
So today's photo is of the new William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library.
Doesn't it look rather like an oversized mobile home?
What can I say more?
Weeping, Wailing, and Gnashing of Teeth
Coming soon to a State Department office near you.
At least that is what the MSM would have you believe about the exit of Colin Powell (well done, soldier) and the entrance of Condolezza Rice as the new Secretary of State.
They will not focus on her outstanding resume and qualifications for this office. They will not mention how stunningly brilliant she is, or how she can advise the most powerful man in the world by day, only to follow that by moonlighting as Yo Yo Ma's pianist at night. I'm sure she has flaws, however the only disqualifying mark on her character in my view is her undying support of the Cleveland Browns.
Well, nobody is perfect.
Condolezza Rice started out in life with absolutely nothing. She went from being a share-cropper's daughter to holding a very distinguished position in the Bush 41 White House and also becoming Provost of Stanford University. As you can tell by her no-holds-barred slug fest before the 9/11 Commission, this woman takes no prisoners.
She faces a daunting task at State. Within the hallowed halls of Foggy Bottom and the consulates and embassies around the world are some of the most entrenched leftists in this country. I've dealt professionally with people in that Department. I've taken the Foreign Service Exam. I'm seriously not impressed with the State Department and believe people there have worked to undermine W's efforts on the world stage. In my capitalistic school of thought, those people have to go. My hope is that Condi cleans house there and helps put a better face on American Diplomacy.
Porter Goss faces much the same challenge at CIA. I have not had dealings with people at Langley - even if I had I wouldn't admit to it. The very fact that Goss had to issue a memo reminding Agency employees their job is to support the Administration and not work to further any ideological goals tells me all I need to know.
Culture change is hard. It is often painful. Excising the entrenched left wingers and their ideology from the halls of government will cause much weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth.
I hope they have good mental health and dental plans at State and CIA.
"No Fish Left Behind"
Just when you thought you'd heard it all, the whackos from the extreme left give you something else to laugh about.
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has launched a new campaign titled the "Fish Empathy Project".
According to the AP (read the ludicrous for yourself):
"Animal-rights activists have launched a novel campaign arguing that fish — contrary to stereotype — are intelligent, sensitive animals no more deserving of being eaten than a pet dog or cat."Sensitive animals, yes. Why, I recall having a very touching conversation with a fish once, and I do believe it changed my life.
"Once people start to understand that fish, although they come in different packaging, are just as intelligent, they'll stop eating them," said Bruce Friedrich, PETA's director of vegan outreach.Well, if fish are so intelligent, why on earth don't they swim away from fishing nets? When they see a minnow dangling in open water, why do they not question this as odd, and recognize the old adage, "if it seems to good to be true, it probably is"? If they are so intelligent, wouldn't they say, "Hmmm, how often do I see minnows just hanging there like that, waiting to be eaten? Could this be a trap? Remember what happened to Frank last week, he told me about a worm hanging out in the open, and I haven't heard from him since."
Another PETA Empathy staffer, wise after 24 entire years on this animal-eating planet, had this to say:
"Fish are so misunderstood because they're so far removed from our daily lives," said Karin Robertson, 24, the Empathy Project manager and daughter of an Indiana fisheries biologist. "They're such interesting, fascinating individuals, yet they're so incredibly abused."Well if this child isn't a product of the Clinton era. "Fish are misunderstood!" We, as humans, are responsible for not making the fish part of our daily lives. We've made them outcasts, relegating them to polluted oceans. It's not enough that we go to the aquariums in our cities to visit them once a year. We really need to do more. We need to try to understand fish, and empathize with their feelings.
It's just a shame that John Kerry wasn't elected, as I'm sure he would have enacted legislation (for once in his life) to end the abuse of fish. Yes, I'm sure he would have supported "No Fish Left Behind" that Ted Kennedy has proposed.
While we're at it, what about plants? Plants have feelings too, don't they? Is it fair to harvest crops, with those big machines and sharp blades? Is it really fair to eat lettuce? And those poor peas, plucked out of their pods and thrust into boiling steam, all for the culinary pleasures of humans.
What about air? There are organisms floating around in the air, and we humans breathe them in. We should seek their feelings first. Isn't that a violation of the organisms' rights? Yes, it is, and I propose that we boycott air... starting with the folks over at PETA.
With that I return to my capitalist endeavors.
Much is being made today about the alleged 'execution' of an allegedly unarmed and wounded Iraqi insurgent in Falluja by a US Marine. The New York Times reports in some detail about this episode evidently filmed by an embedded NBC reporter.
If you bother to wade through the New York Times piece, you'll find the following statement:
Mr. Sites reported that a marine in the same unit had been killed just a day earlier when he tended to the booby-trapped dead body of an insurgent.For the record - this is not a drug raid in South Central Los Angeles. This is a war. There are snap judgments to be made by men who are trained to do terrible things. These men have seen what this enemy can do. Far too many of their friends and countrymen have fallen prey to this enemy - an enemy who has no sense of honor or decency. Prisoners taken by our forces get a far better life than they had as insurgents. Prisoners taken by the insurgents are returned in body bags minus their heads.
That, dear reader, is the reality of this war. You may not like it, you may not want to face it or own up to it. The reality of war is very unforgiving.
Put yourself in the position of a US Marine storming an insurgent occupied Mosque in Falluja. In the past few days you have lost some of your best friends to booby-trapped wounded and corpses. Others of your unit have been seriously wounded by IEDs built by the people in this mosque.
You have a choice.
Choice #1 - You can take a chance on this guy, tie him up and leave him - all the while taking the additional chance that he may have booby trapped himself.
Choice #2 - You can shoot him. You live, he dies.
Remember, this is a pop quiz. You have five seconds to decide, maybe less. Procrastination can and will result in your immediate death.
In the end, it really depends on the value of a life. In my book, I'll take the life a US Marine over a slime ball insurgent terrorist bent on killing as many Americans as possible every single day of the week. It really is that simple.
Well done, Marine. Semper Fi.
Here endeth the lesson.
The Politics of Victory
The Democrats, left leaning pundits, and liberals in general are bemoaning the election results of 2004. The pitch of their whining is remarkably similar to that of their 2000 whine-a-thon, the echoes of which can still be heard in what is left of blue-state America.
They do not consider W's winning of this election to have any bearing on the course of this country. 287 Electoral Votes is not enough for them. 60 million popular votes and 51% of the electorate is not enough for them. The normal governance of this country is to be done under liberal democratic leadership. Every election since 1994 (Clinton's re-election in 1996 not with standing) has been an aberration in the political space-time continuum. Eventually, they say, America will return to her senses and put the proper people back in power.
Minority political status must do terrible things to the liberal psyche.
W won the election. He won a majority of the popular vote. His main political adversary, the former senator from South Dakota "Tiny" Tommy Daschle was retired by his own state electorate.
Memo to Senator Harry Reid (D-NV): You might want to consider one thing before following in the footsteps of Tiny Tommy. You are a blue senator from a decidedly red state. Look very closely at that object atop the pike stuck deep in the White House lawn. Yes, that is Tiny Tommy's political head. If you don't want yours next to his, play ball.
W has a very interesting strategy for his second term. He actually plans to accomplish those things he promised to do in the campaign. I know this is a shocking strategy for most liberals. Look for big things to come across the Potomac in the next four years.
Regardless of what the left may think, or even dream, W won the election - convincingly, decidedly, and unapologetically. 60 million votes and 51% of the electorate translate in to one very simple and understandable word.
Say it with me now:
Here endeth the lesson.
Here's Your Sign
I hope this guy can find the nearest Maaco.
*Hat Tip to Legal XXX (no its not the site you think it is)
France: "Let's name streets after [dead terrorist]!"
Just when you think France has done the most absurd (i.e., observing a moment of silence for deceased terrorist Yasser Arafat), they outdo themselves yet again.
Now various municipalities are considering renaming streets and plazas after Yasser Arafat.
With this type of support for a blood thirsty terrorist, is it any wonder that France opposed our invasion of Iraq?
Is it any wonder that France wouldn't allow our warplanes in their airspace when we bombed Khadafi?
France had better take note: You can pander to terrorists up to a point, but once they have taken care of everyone else, they'll be back for you. You can count on that. You too, Spain.
France could certainly learn a lesson from The Netherlands. This Washington Times article details the troubles the Dutch are facing. With years of Dutch "permissive" social policies to thank, new terrorist breeding grounds are cropping up in The Netherlands, friction is increasing between the Dutch and Muslim communities, and the Dutch people are feeling the result. Schools have been burned, leaders and popular writers have been killed. Some people in The Netherlands are thus waking up to the fact that open borders and a "live and let live" philosophy are questionable, if not downright dangerous.
So go ahead and rename those streets, France. I'm sure Jacques Chirac will be first in line to buy real estate on Arafat Blvd.
Where's the Left's "Gloom and Doom America"?
For the last 8 months, we've heard nothing from the media (i.e., Kerry Campaign) other than how bad life is here in America. John Kerry was out there telling us that our country was in the toilet. Jobs were lost. Health care had everyone worried and up all night.
Of course, John Kerry said nothing of the moral cesspool that has overflowed into the homes of most Americans, vis-a-vis the liberal elitists in Hollywood that supported John Kerry. I digress.
John Edwards, during the Vice-presidential debate, looked into the camera and told America that he believed in a hopeful America, an America of opportunity. And, as he looked into that camera with his perfectly combed hair, he told us that America's light was flickering, it was dim, and things weren't good.
The Washington Times reported yesterday the results of a recent Harris poll that state the following:
"The Harris Poll's annual "Feel Good Index" finds the nation happy with home, family and friends — with the biggest increase in positive feelings emanating from 'morals and ethics.'"Isn't that interesting. And no, don't let the producer of Alfie tell you these results are because of the election--this poll was taken before the election.
"Life, in fact, seems downright harmonious, with 98 percent reporting they're pleased with their family relations, according to the poll, which surveyed 1,016 U.S. adults Oct. 14-17.Well, well. I have been wondering for the last 8 months where all the disgruntled, unemployed, unhappy, financially ruined Americans were. As it turns out, people are actually happy living here in the U.S.
"Ninety-five percent feel good about their homes, 92 percent praised the quality of their lives overall, 91 percent were positive about their social lives, 88 percent said they were happy about their health and 85 percent gave thumbs up to their standard of living.
"The survey reflected other financially based attitudes: 60 percent were happy with their jobs, down four points from last year. Sixty-two percent felt good about their financial security, up three points from last year."
The left will, undoubtedly, try to say this is just a poll, it's not scientific and the results have errors. Remember, though, these are the same people that claim that exit polling data is more accurate than voting results.
Week in Review
Due to my adventures in capitalism, I was unable to post very much this week.
This week, we have seen the Democrats' continued downward spiral into depression. They have mocked and belittled those who voted for George W. Bush, claiming those in "Jesusland" voted purely because their ministers told them to do so. You see, the red state voters didn't understand John Kerry, they didn't understand the issues. They were duped into voting for Bush because they have blind faith in those wacky, crazed religious leaders. They adhere to false ideologies--crazy as it seems--of protecting innocent life and preserving traditional marriage.
Memo to the left: (A) Stop using the name of my Lord in vain. (B) Don't think those "blind faith" voters will fall for media exposure of Hillary attending church each week for the next four years. (C) Your candidate lost because he was the weaker candidate, on moral issues,AND national defense, AND economic issues AND just every other topic that comes to mind. Quit your whining.
On Arafat-chance, baby...
Yesterday, France held a moment of silence to mark the passing of Yasser Arafat. Chainik Hocker expresses his disbelief at Chirac's statement of grief and claim that Arafat was a "man of courage and conviction." Are we surprised that the French would mourn the death of a blood-thirsty terrorist?
The media reported that kings and rulers from all over the world travelled to Arafat's funeral. The U.S. sent the Assistant Secretary of State. (laughter) The Assistant Secretary of State is the guy who does everything no one else wants to do, like attending the dedication of a new bridge in the middle of some Third World country which no one has ever heard of, despite the fact that U.S. tax dollars probably financed said bridge. I digress.
Israel, rightly so, sent no one.
Sadly, it is my observation that few in the U.S. understand who Arafat was, few know of his evil designs, and few have much interest in the situtation that exists today in the Holy Land.
Friday Night Lights
Football is the greatest game played on the earth. If you have any doubts about that, go see Friday Night Lights.
The movie tells the story of the 1988 Odessa Permian Football Team. Odessa is a small town in West Texas. For those of you unfamiliar with the religiosity of football in Texas, remember this fact. Most high school stadiums in Texas have room for a crowd roughly double or triple the actual number of residents in the town. Each Friday, every seat is full. Fans are ferocious. The line between hero and chump is divided along the win/loss column. State Champions are held in an esteem that closely rivals that of deity.
Friday Night Lights spins a yarn that could be found about any high school team. Every team has its star player, silent workhorse, and glory hound specialist. Every team has one or more players who must come to grips with the reality of season and career ending injuries. All these egos must come into harmony on (and off) the playing field. In no other sport do 11 players try to coordinate their movements towards a common goal.
What does football teach? Teamwork, primarily. But it also teaches something far more important. Football teaches you that, no matter how often you are knocked down, spun around, or otherwise have your clock cleaned, you get up. You get up, go back to the huddle, and get back on the line. Its no use complaining about the last failed play, or gloating about the yardage you just gained. Why? Because in a few seconds that big, ugly, and terrorizing lineman across from you is going to come at you again. Football does not allow for interpretations of the events on the field. You either get the first down, or you don't. You either score, or you don't. Everyone is given the same amount of time. Its what you do with that time that matters.
Tonight, across America, millions of people will pour into high school stadiums to cheer on their favorite team. Games will be decided by last minute field goals and plays run on fourth down with inches to go. Football, like life, is a game of inches.
In the end, the Odessa Permian team fell short of the State Championship by about a half-yard. I know how that feels. It is really hard to walk away from a game you've played your whole life knowing you'll never strap on the pads again.
So that's why every August I make a point to drive by High Schools in the late afternoon. It reminds me of what I miss - the guys, the girls, the game.
And most of all, I miss the lights on Friday night.
There are those among us for whom this day brings special remembrance. They are they who answered their country's call in time of war. They are they who put their lives on the line in defense of freedom. They traveled to lands far distant to liberate people they did not know and whose language they did not speak. They left their youth, childhood, and friends on battlefields where today children play and families live.
For the most part their sacrifice is borne largely in silence. They go about their lives, raise their families and do their business just like you or I would and do. Never the less, it is on days such as today their memories of friends long dead and battles long forgotten come to the surface.
Today flags will be flown, cemeteries will be visited, and cannon will fire not in anger but in salute to those brave soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines - living and dead - who answered the call of an ever grateful nation. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. And so we shall.
Today, remember those who have fought for this country. Pray for them, and also pray for those peacemakers who today find themselves in harm's way once again doing what they do best - Protecting, defending, and liberating.
Good luck, Godspeed, and Good Hunting.
Today we remember those who serve and have served our nation in the armed forces. The Stars and Stripes adorn the Bonjo residence, and I am indeed grateful to those men and women who have answered the call of duty to defend our nation, our freedoms and liberties, and our way of life.
Off the top of my head, the following members of my family have served in the military in some fashion or another...
My father: reserves.
My brother: Marine Corps, now active in the reserves.
My father-in-law: Army, then reserves.
Both of my wife's grandparents are WWII veterans, both put off school and "life" to serve in the Navy.
There are two uncles, my wife's cousin, and I'm sure others that I am forgetting.
We are all enjoying, this very day, the rewards that these men and women have earned for our country. They have gone to foreign lands, they have put themselves in harm's way, and they have preserved freedom in the process.
May God bless those individuals for their individual sacrifice. And may we remember, this day and every day, that our freedom comes with a price.
The question I pose is, What are you doing with the freedom that has been purchased for you?
The Bell Tolls for Arafat
It is sad to know that the death (finally) of one man may serve as a catalyst to bring a semblance of peace to a region defined by war.
Yasser Arafat has long served as little more than an obstacle for peace and a catalyst for terrorism. As much as I hate to disagree with Jimmy Carter, Arafat was not a "powerful human symbol" for uniting Palestinians in their pursuit of a homeland. He was a man who fought tirelessly for the destruction of the only democracy in the Middle East. He was a man who funded and otherwise encouraged the systematic use of suicide bombing as a way to get his point across.
He was a terrorist. He was a murderer. He was a despicable human being. He oppressed the people he claimed to fight for. He lowered them so as to raise himself. I do not mourn his passing. I, and I believe I am not alone, am glad he is dead and hope his successor will actually do something constructive for the Palestinian people and pursue a lasting peace with Israel. Hope springs eternal.
Good riddance Yasser.
Here endeth the lesson.
Bad News for Arafat
You know you're in bad shape when people go out of their way to inform the news media that you are not dead yet. Such is the scene outside some military hospital in France:
Cart Man (clanging a gong): Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!
Wannabe Palestinian Leader (WPL): Here he is. Take him away.
Arafat: I'm not dead!
WPL: Oh yes you are.
Arafat: No, I'm not. I'm not dead! I'm feeling much better now. I think I'll go for a walk!
WPL: Can't he just up and die already?
Arafat: I feel happy!
Its just a matter of time. Maybe the Palestinians will put up someone who can seriously negotiate for peace. I know its a long shot. Never give up all hope.
On to more serious subjects.
I have read much regarding the whirlwind of controversy surrounding Senator Arlen Specter (r-Pa). I personally don't care for Specter, especially after his somehow finding a way to vote against convicting Clinton by somehow finding an obscure Scottish precedent for finding a case not proved.
I like the guy even less after he "warned" W against appointing Pro-Life judges to the federal bench. This from a guy who, were it not for the support of W, would not have made it past the primary. If he were somehow denied the chairmanship of the Senate Judiciary Committee, I don't think I'd shed too many tears.
That said, Hugh makes a good argument for Specter as chairman. Read it, and make up your own mind.
Finally, and most importantly, US soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines, together with Iraqi military forces (how's that for allies, Lurch?) are in harms way as I write this. They are, at long last, pressing forward to rid Falluja of the insurgent terrorist element that has plagued that city for far too long.
Let us pray for their safety and ultimate victory. To them, I say thank you. Good luck, Godspeed, and Good Hunting.
Here endeth the lesson.
Fall Cleaning in Fallujah
"We have no other option but to take the necessary measures to protect Iraqi people from these killers and liberate Fallujah." - Iraqi Prime Minister Ayad AllawiWell, well. The peace negotiations between the Iraqi/U.S. forces and the terrorists in Fallujah have broken apart (hope you're happy, France). The foreign fighter thugs in Fallujah had a break as we approached the U.S. election. Now, it's time to clean house.
If I were one of the negotiators dealing with those thugs, my parting words would have been along these lines:
You've got to ask yourself one question...Do [we] feel lucky?
Well, do ya, punk[s]?
Here's Your Sign - Appendix
Seems that about 85 Boulder High School Students have locked themselves up in the school library until GOP leaders personally come out to "reassure" them.
We want them to reassure us that our fears are misguided and that the government is doing everything in its power to prevent our futures from being destroyed- Brian Martens, Boulder HS Class of 2005
Memo to Mr. Martens:
Perhaps if you actually read and understood the concepts, policies, and underpinnings of the election this past Tuesday, you'd realize the folly of what you're doing. You want someone to come out and reassure you that your future is not being destroyed.
Brian, you make your future. The man sitting in the Oval Office does not. I was once like you - a high school student in Colorado. I listened to the doomsayers of that era - the same ones who said Reagan would start a nuclear war and put our economy in the toilet - in that order. I remember learning about how the national debt would ruin my life and rob me of any possibility of prosperity. And yes, just after I graduated from that Colorado high school, my country went to war amid the chorus of detractors claiming body bags would come back by the hundreds of thousands and my generation would be decimated.
Newsflash - I survived, I prospered. All this despite the best efforts of those who told me I would fail.
So, my young friend, go forth from Boulder and prosper. You'll find the world outside the city limits is far better than you are led to believe. Today, I'm sorry to say, you don't get your sign. You have a lot to learn, mostly because of what the people who educate and influence you have done a piss poor job.
It is to them collectively, and James Vacca (Boulder High School Teacher) specifically, that I direct the following commentary. Mr. Vacca made the following statement:
In an age where narcissistic college students riot in an inarticulate drunken stupor, you have students here at Boulder High School, principled, thoughtful and yet scared of four more years of pre-emptive war, the Patriot Act and an increase in militarism at school through the No Child Left Behind Act.Mr. Vacca, you are truly a disgrace to the teaching profession. You have done little but regurgitate the union thug democratic party talking points given to you by the NEA or NFT. You do not understand the concept of pre-emptive war, nor have you read or do you understand the Patriot Act. I suggest you stop indoctrinating your students to your left-wing world view and get back to teaching them. That is after all your duty as an educator. Here's your sign.
Here endeth the lesson.
Here's Your Sign
Bill Engvalls is a very successful stand up comic whose trademark schtick centers around the following premise:
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."With apologies to Mr. Engvalls, I’m going to shamelessly plagiarize his line and start applying it to misguided, linguini-spined, frenchified, left wing politicians, pundits, and like minded “induhviduals” who cannot for the life of them see the trends inherent in the election results of this past Tuesday.
(By the way, I’ll probably turn this into a weekly contest, so feel free to submit your entries by Thursday to firstname.lastname@example.org)
As the election season has come to a close this week, there are several entries to review:
1. Congresswoman Nancy “San Francisco Treat” Pelosi.
I swear this woman’s face never moves. She looks like she’s in a perpetual state of surprise – and given the election results, I can see how this could be true.
Her entry: "I always said, on any given day, I thought that the opportunity was there for us to take back the House, and on that day, we would. It wasn't there on Election Day. I don't consider it a black eye. I think we held our own on what wasn't a very good day for the Democrats."
Memo to the San Francisco Treat – Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt. Here’s your sign.
2. New York Time Columnist Maureen Dowd
Her most recent column borders on qualifying run at the lunatic fringe – not that she doesn’t own a good chunk of real estate there anyway.
Her entry: "Just listen to Dick (Oh, lordy, is this cuckoo clock still vice president?) Cheney, introducing the Man for his victory speech: "This has been a consequential presidency which has revitalized our economy and reasserted a confident American role in the world." Well, it has revitalized the Halliburton segment of the economy, anyhow. And "confident" is not the first word that comes to mind for the foreign policy of a country that has alienated everyone except Fiji.
Vice continued, "Now we move forward to serve and to guard the country we love." Only Dick Cheney can make "to serve and to guard" sound like "to rape and to pillage."
Where to start. Look, Maureen. W and Big Time beat your boy Lurch like a Bongo Drum. (No, Hugh, I’m not paying you a dollar for that line.) Perhaps you and your consorts over there in the Jayson Blair wing of the journalistic dust bin need to realize that a 4 million vote margin is a mandate from the people. Here’s your sign.
3. Exit Pollsters
This country doesn’t have a majority of liberal women as the dominant political force, despite the efforts of NOW. Your efforts to enable the MSM to in their effort to tilt the election toward Lurch was blatantly obvious. We remember from the 2000 election and won’t be fooled into giving up before the fat lady sings. Here’s your sign.
Here endeth the lesson.
Memo to the Left: An Account of the Missing Young Vote
Much has been said about the lack of voter turnout amongst the "youth" of America, i.e., those voters between the ages of 18 and 29. The Democrats were convinced they were finally going to crack the youth voter nut and get young people out to the polls in record numbers. That was their strategy to winning Ohio. In their view, the young voters would trump the "radical religious zealots" (I'm paraphrasing what I've heard from the left) who ended up handing the presidency to George W. Bush.
Now, the election over, the left is confused. What happened to the youth vote? Why, they even had Eminem out there, with a scantily clad blonde writhing around in a t-shirt which said, "Vote or Die." And the youth didn't respond?
Hollywood backed John Kerry. There were concerts, there were MTV events. And the youth didn't respond?
They don't seem to understand why the younger voters didn't pull through for them. James Taranto, of the WSJ Opinion Journal, has an answer for the left: abortion.
If we add up the number [of abortions] from 1975-86, we come up with approximately 17.5 million missing eligible voters between 18 and 29 years old. Exit polls found that voters this age who were born went for Kerry over Bush, 54% to 45%, while Bush had a majority in all other age groups. If it's true that women who have abortions tend to be more liberal than those who don't, then the unborn 18- to 29-year-olds likely would have favored the Democrat even more heavily.This follows closely with the results of another report, broken down in a rather systematic and scientific manner, that indicate that abortion has resulted in a severely altered political landscape. In the June issue of the American Spectator, Larry Eastland provided an in-depth analysis of "missing voters." A synopsis this article:
"The absence of the missing voters may not be noticed, but that doesn't mean its political impact disappears. As seen during a famine, what no longer exists becomes as relevant as what does...So, for the John Kerry's of the world--who claim to personally oppose abortion, yet refuse to "force" others to adhere to their morals--this should be a lesson learned. Next election, they shouldn't stand around scratching their heads wondering where the youth vote went. Thanks to their liberal agenda, much of the youth vote never had a chance to go either way.
"Here's what we know from several generations of social science research about children:
"In the actual popular vote for president in the 2000 general election in Florida, George W. Bush was declared the winner by 537 votes. But if the 260,962 Missing Voters of Florida had been present to vote, Al Gore would have won by 45,366 votes. Missing Voters--through decisions made in the 1970s and early 1980s, encouraged and emboldened by the feminist movement at the height of its power--altered the outcome of the U.S. presidency a generation later, in a way proponents of legal abortion could not have imagined.
- They tend to absorb the values of their parents.
- They tend to have the same political views as their family (parents, siblings, immediate relatives) and share common views on political causes.
- They tend to develop the same lifestyle as their family.
"Abortion has caused missing Democrats--and missing liberals. For advocates so fundamentally committed to changing the face of conservative America, liberals have been remarkably blind to the fact that every day the abortions they advocate dramatically decrease their power to do so."
SOTR Election Map proven true!
We cannot confirm, however, the shipments of mass quantities of Prozac to what is left of the Democratic Leadership on the hill.
Election Post Mortems
There are several post-mortems of Election 2004 out today. Check out Howard Fineman for a broad look. Then go see Ryan Lizza for the story of how the SS Lurch went from victorious elation to stunning defeat in less than 12 hours.
Live by the exit poll, die by the actual tally.
Will the last person leaving the Kerry-Edwards Headquarters please turn out the lights?
As much as it pains me to do so, I must offer my heartfelt thanks to Senator Kerry.
Thank you, Senator, for avoiding a long, drawn out, protracted and litigated end to this election cycle. You could have done it. It was within your rights to do so. Somewhere inside you found the guy who didn't want to go down in history as an Algore. For this, I have no doubt that the nation is truly grateful. You took the statesman's exit. Well done.
As elections are as close as we get (thankfully) to Civil War in this country, I am reminded of the remarks of Abraham Lincoln as he began his second term:
With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.
Here endeth the lesson.
SOTR Calls Ohio, Iowa and New Mexico for Bush...
Who needs the mainstream media to do what we can do on our own? The returns are in. Kerry will concede the election at 1pm this afternoon.
BUSH WINS. KERRY TO RETURN TO THE SENATE.
Now, on with our lives!
The Titanic Analogy
Ahhh, what a beautiful morning here in Washington.
This morning I heard Rep. Mark Foley, R-Fla give his assessment of the presidential election:
"John Kerry is a military man, he should recognize a sinking ship."We at the Sons of the Republic have often likened the Kerry campaign unto the Titanic, listing sharply to port (the left) and taking on water.
America has spoken, and at least 51% of Americans want President Bush back in office. Kerry and his minions will undoubtedly consider lawyering 130,000 votes out of Ohio to hijack this election. They may even recognize their stinging defeat, but drag America through an agonizing recount and series of court battles which will disgust and frustrate the American voter, in an attempt to undermine the legitimacy of Bush's presidency. That would be unwise, since, as I have previously stated, this is not 2000. There is a clear winner in this election, and Americans will not have the patience to muddle through another election controversy.
It all amounts to rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Senator Kerry should understand that he put up a good fight. His campaign took him farther than I ever thought he would make it. And just like the 50+ presidential hopefuls who have lost over the course of the years, John Kerry should be a statesman, bow out of the race that he knows he has lost, and, in the words of his long-forgotten campaign theme, "let America be America again."
Its Morning Again In America
Despite the annoying whining emanated from Lurch-Breck Girl 2004 Headquarters in Boston, we here at the Sons of the Republic hereby declare W and Big Time the winners of the race to the White House.
Yes, there are some rumblings as to the provisional ballots in Ohio. Lurch is doing everything short of casting Voodoo spells on W and Big Time effigies to some how make up a 130,000 vote spread in the Buckeye State. No word as to whether or not he plans to up the stakes by invoking the use of a dead chicken.
Well, to quote the infamous cheer associated with my High School basketball team (which arrogantly an unilaterally took the state title with an unblemished record during my sophomore year):
It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!When the Ohio Secretary of State says Lurch's chances of running the table and winning Ohio via provisional ballot are "statistically impossible" - that's what he means.
Now on to the Senate show.
Let us all now observe a moment of silence for the soon to be former Minority Leader Senator "Tiny" Tommy Daschle. Two years ago John Thune lost a senate race in South Dakota by 300 or so votes in a contest that was obviously marred by voting "irregularities" associated with Native American precincts. He graciously conceded the race and many thought he would drop off the political stage.
Tiny Tommy really wishes he would have done just that. Thune sent Daschle packing last night, hopefully removing one of the biggest log jams ever found in the US Senate. Good riddance Tiny. Welcome to the Big Leagues, Senator Thune.
Erskin Bowles, former White House Chief of Staff in the "Sorry Excuse For A" Clinton Administration lost his second attempt to win a Senate seat in North Carolina. His first loss was to Liddy Dole. Last night he lost yet again to Richard Burr. Insult to injury - this was Breck Girl's seat. Welcome to the Big Leagues, Senator Burr.
States still to be called include Iowa, New Mexico, Nevada, and Wisconsin. All but the latter will break for W. The popular vote now stands at 58,286,677 for W and 54,761,463 for Lurch. In case you don't have time to do the math, that gives W 51% of the popular vote.
Say it with me now - mandate.
Here endeth the lesson.
Make no mistake; This is not 2000
I'm surprised at the number of comparisons of this election to the 2000 election. This is not 2000.
1) President Bush has won a majority of the popular vote. 51% to 48% of the vote, as it currently stands.
2) In Ohio, John Kerry trails Dubya by 140,000 votes. This is not a "razor thin lead" as 2000 Florida.
3) Lawyering 140,000 votes out of Ohio will not make John Kerry a popular president.
4) Bush has a healthy 350,000 vote margin in Florida. Don't pull an Al Gore. I know Al Gore, Senator, and you're no Al Gore.
5) Stealing or delaying the outcome of this election will make America weaker abroad and less safe at home.
That being said, I agree with Tom Brokaw that "waiting a few more hours to ensure every vote is counted" is not entirely out of order. To call the election and give up now when there's a (snowball's) chance of changing the outcome could be a disservice. However, as Rudy Giuliani told Brokaw, our country can't afford a repeat of 2000, especially when it's clear that President Bush has won.
To stretch this out beyond lunchtime tomorrow will only mire our country internationally. It will, to use a term oft quoted by liberals, "disenfranchise" the American electorate.
It's time we have some respect and dignity in this campaign. Senator Kerry, I will say that you have put up a good fight. You gave Dubya a run for his money, something I never expected from a dryball such as yourself. However, it appears, according to the majority of media favorable to your cause, that you've lost. By noon tomorrow, please, concede this election to the Commander in Chief. Allow him to return to his important job of running the War on Terror and making our families safer. Take some time off from the Senate (something you're accustomed to doing), get yourself a fake tan, a botox treatment, a $1,000 haircut, and sail off into the sunset on your wife's $45 Million jet.
Senator Kerry, America will thank you, and America will promptly forget you.
(It's 3:00 AM, do you know who your next president is?
No, no: I went to bed at 11:00. Some commentator said we wouldn't hear about Ohio until around 1:30. I figured I could hear about Ohio around 6:00 am!
Regardless, it's a warm night here in Northern VA. I've got the ceiling fan in my room running, and it was making some weird sound that woke me up. Since I was awake, I figured I'd run down and take a peek at the latest returns.)
Too close to call, too late to be up...
In 2000, I lived in the mountain time zone. I waited up until fairly late until Florida was called for President Bush. Content with the outcome of the election, I retired for the evening. I woke up the next morning to an ecstatic Katie Couric who was happy to tell America that her candidate, Al Gore, was still in the running.
I don't see that happening this year. Florida is looking good for President Bush. Ohio could still go either way, but I remain hopeful and reports I've seen are encouraging.
Today I was worried about Utah. Yesterday when I checked the most recent polling data, President Bush was up 70% vs. John Kerry at 23%. You know, that was a nail biter. It could have broken and gone to Kerry. I'll rest easy knowing that Utah ended up in the Bush column.
I had a good laugh when the commentators said Virginia was too close to call. Believe me, I've been in this state for the entire election season, and there has never been a question which way Virginia was going to go. The data displayed on all the networks said Kerry was up 57 to 40 something or other. What they didn't emphasize was that a mere 1% of precincts had reported returns.
Arlington County and Alexandria county make up more than 1% of Virginia's electorate, and always lean Democratic (we have those unionized Federal workers to thank). My guess is that precincts from those counties were included in the initial 1%. Sorry Kerry, this is Dubya Country.
Thune's giving Daschle a run for his money, wouldn't that be a beautiful sight.
With that, I return to my cable news coverage.
Therefore, choose you by the a voice of this people, judges, that ye may be judged according to the laws which have been given you by our fathers, which are correct, and which were given them by the hand of the Lord.
Now it is not common that the a voice of the people desireth anything contrary to that which is right; but it is common for the lesser part of the people to desire that which is not right; therefore this shall ye observe and make it your law—to do your business by the voice of the people.
And if the time comes that the voice of the people doth choose iniquity, then is the time that the judgments of God will come upon you; yea, then is the time he will visit you with great destruction even as he has hitherto visited this land. - Book of Mormon - Mosiah 29:25-27
Statistics from My Voting Experience
Following are the statistics I collected during my voting experience today. You can read the whole experience if you have the time. Results are +/- 100%:
People in line in front of me: 300+
Minutes spent waiting in line: 60
# of Lines I waited in: 4
Kerry campaign workers violating “No Campaigning” signs: 1
Bush campaign workers violating “No Campaigning” signs: 0
Polling staffers over the age of 85: 10
Polling staffers under the age of 85: 2
Times I hummed “Hail to the Chief”: 3
Celebrity look a-likes seen at the polls: 1
People in line with last name A-H: 300
People in line with last name R-Z: 0
Times I considered changing my last name: 10
Memo to Senator John F. Kerry (D-MA)
I thought it appropriate that on a serious day such as today, I would put all kidding and nicknames aside and speak to you respectfully - as much as possible.
Today millions of Americans are lined up outside polling places in cities, towns, villages, and precincts all across this great nation. They will, as is their right, cast their votes to decide who will have the honor of leading the United States for the next four years. And, while it is pretty obvious for whom I intend to pledge my support, I thought it important to inform you, sir, of a very important fact - to me at least.
You don't get my vote!
You don't get my vote because I don't believe you can be trusted to put America's best interests in the forefront of your priorities. I think you're more concerned with being liked and popular in Europe than you are in protecting and defending America's interests at home and abroad.
You don't get my vote because I simply cannot afford you. The vast majority of Americans, me included, have to work for a living, Senator. We weren't born to privilege and didn't marry wealth (twice). We work hard for what we have, and we don't like snobby, high minded, limousine liberals like you and Maria Teresa Thierstein Simões-Ferreira Heinz Kerry (deep gasp for breath) telling us we're not paying our fair share.
You don't get my vote because I want the President of the United States to do whatever is necessary to hunt down, kill, or otherwise liquidate terrorists. I'm not interested in someone who pledges to wage "a more sensitive war."
You don't get my vote because you betrayed those with whom you went to war. I will not here debate the merits or reasons behind the Vietnam War. I will, however, let you know that I spent the better part of my youth living on or near military bases. I knew the Vietnam widows and their children were my playmates and friends. They would have given anything to have had just one more summer afternoon with the men you derided as rapists, pillagers, and criminals "reminiscent of Genghis Khan." You stood atop their memory and shamelessly used them as a ticket to power. For that, Senator, there is no vindication.
You don't get my vote because you have no core, no center, and no foundation. After 20 years in the United States Senate, you have accomplished slightly less than nothing. You have no legacy. You will be remembered as only as an "Also-Ran".
And finally, Senator, you don't get my vote because I don't think I could live in the world your policies would have created. Had you presided over the United States for the past 20 years, our Armed Forces would indeed be fighting with Spit Balls. The Soviet Union would still exist, the Cold War would still be raging, and Latin America would have been over run by communists years ago. Saddam Hussein would still be in power, and Kuwait would have become Iraq's 19th province.
I'm sorry, Senator. You don't get my vote. I need a leader I can respect, trust, and feel good supporting. That man is not you.
Here endeth the lesson.
Electoral Vote Prediction
After much consideration, it has been decided to remove the link to the Electoral Vote Predictor site that until today resided along the right hand side of this blog. Anyone who believes Lurch has 280+ Electoral Votes in the bag is smoking way too much crack.
Please visit RealClearPolitics for the best up to the minute poll results.
The Election, Summarized
Though John Kerry would have you forget, we don't live in the world of September 10, 2001. We live in the world of September 11. I have not forgotten what it felt like to watch my fellow Americans as they were murdered on national television. I remember seeing people jump from their windows in the World Trade Center, undoubtedly knowing they would die on impact but choosing that over the hell that faced them inside. I remember watching video of the Pentagon burning, knowing that had I been in my office that day I wouldn't have needed a television to see the smoke.
On the other hand, I remember George W. Bush as he embraced this nation, as he stood on a smoldering pile of rubble and promised to punish those responsible. I remember President Bush as he spoke to a joint session of Congress, and told governments the world over that they would turn over the terrorists or "share in their fate." I remember President Bush when he told America that bombing had begun in Afghanistan, and subsequently, in Iraq. I know President Bush won't rest as long as he's in office, and as long as there are sub-human terrorist thugs out there who want to kill me and my family.
Sure, I agree with President Bush's economic policies. I agree with President Bush's stand on moral issues. For this and other reasons, Bush has my support for this election. To quote the now legendary Zell Miller:
"Like you, I think of [my family's] future, the promises and the perils they will face.
"Like you, I believe that the next four years will determine what kind of world they will grow up in.
"And like you, I ask which leader is it today that has the vision, the willpower and, yes, the backbone to best protect my family?
"The clear answer to that question has placed me in this hall with you tonight. For my family is more important than my party.
"There is but one man to whom I am willing to entrust [my family's] future and that man's name is George Bush."
Why Bush Must Win
Dick "Big Time" Cheney summarized why Bush needs to win. John Kerry has tried to lull America into a September 10th mentality of discussing schools, jobs, and the economy. Don't get me wrong; those are important issues. But schools are useless to me if my kids are blown up by a terrorist. My job is worthless if my city is vaporized by a nuclear weapon.
Returning to the comments "Big Time" made. On Friday, Osama Bin Laden's face showed up on our television screens in what appeared to be an al Qaeda-funded campaign advertisement, telling us to vote for John Kerry. Cheney had this to say:
"The thing that I find amazing about [the bin Laden video] is that John Kerry's first response was to go conduct a poll. He went into the field ... to find out what he should say about this tape of Osama bin Laden. It's as though he doesn't know what he believes until he has to go and check the polls, his finger in the air, to see which way the wind is blowing and then he'll make a decision.
"George Bush doesn't need a poll to know what he believes, especially about Osama bin Laden." - Vice President Dick 'Big Time' Cheney, Fort Dodge, Iowa.
Seabiscuit & Election Day
For those of you who have neither read Laura Hillenbrand's Seabiscuit: An American Legend or seen the movie of the same title, this post will make little sense. Repent, read, see and understand.
Seabiscuit loved to toy with his opponents. On the home stretch of the race, he would pull even with his opponent - the most notable of which was War Admiral - look the horse dead in the eye, and then pull away leaving that horse in a cloud of dust. It truly was a sight to see.
The final few days of this election cycle can be likened to this horserace. The candidates are neck and neck (or so the MSM would have you believe). W is staring down Lurch, and I believe he will pull away and win the election with a few states to spare.
It is striking to see the Cheering Section for Lurch, once commonly referred to as the Main Stream Media. Last week they had their collective orgasm over the return of Bill "Wilhelm von der Schleikmeister" Clinton to the stage. They covered Lurch's Springsteen Concert as if it were Simon and Garfunkle in Central Park. They now claim Lurch has momentum in the final days of the election.
For Lurch to have momentum, he would first have to possess a pulse.
Here endeth the lesson.