Tuesday, November 22, 2005
"Lurch" Kerry Develops Electoral Amnesia
Somebody needs to inform the Junior Senator from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, John F. "Lurch" Kerry, that the 2004 Presidential Election has come, and gone.
More importantly, he needs to fully understand the fact that he lost - and no, it wasn't even close.
Today, in his never ending effort to emerge from a very undistinguished Senate career in particular, and obscurity in general, Lurch announced he has a plan (yes, another plan) to withdraw some 20,000 troops from Iraq by Christmas.
Lurch is famous for plans. He has a plan to save Social Security. He has an Economic Plan that will employ everyone and provide universal Health Care for everyone. He has a plan to cure insomnia. He has a plan to end terrorism. He may even have a plan to cure male pattern baldness.
The only problem is, not a single one of these plans has ever (or most likely will ever) see the light of day. There are no specifics. There are no facts. Lurch's ability to dream up plans is on par with his ability to fill his past with virtualities like his Christmas trip to Cambodia under the orders of a man who had yet to assume the Oval Office.
So, if nobody else is willing to give him a dose of reality, I will take it upon myself to do so.
Memo to John "Lurch" Kerry:
On November 2, 2004, the American people went to the polls and ended the 2004 election cycle in which you were the Democratic candidate for the Presidency of the United States.
Of the 121,056,394 votes cast, you received 59,028,109 or 48.3% of them. Not a bad showing. If this were 1992 you would have won. Its not 1992. It is (or rather was) 2004.
Your opponent, the President of the United States, George W. Bush (affectionately referred to here as W) received 62,028,285 votes, or 50.7% of the total. His total was greater than yours (even in the Electoral College) and therefore, according to the laws of mathematics, he won.
You lost. You do not fly around in Air Force One. You do not represent the United States. Most importantly, you are not the Commander-In-Chief of the United States Armed Forces. When given the opportunity to choose between your ideas, strategy, and values, the American people overwhelmingly rejected them - and you. Its important for you to understand this, because it means nobody really cares about what plan you have for troop reductions in Iraq.
You called upon W to be the Commander-In-Chief as opposed to the Campaigner-In-Chief. Lead first, Senator, by example. You would do much better to support the CINC and the troops instead of attacking them at every opportunity.
Here endeth the lesson.
UPDATE: Never let it be said that I do not admit when I am wrong. Lurch did, in fact, win an election. This past week he was elected...
Wait for it. I know you're brimming with suspense...
Ok, here you go...
Jury Foreman of a Suffolk Superior Court. Congratulations, Lurch.
I wonder if he presented a Deliberation Plan?