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Republic. I like the sound of the word. It means people can live free, talk free, go or come, buy or sell, be drunk or sober, however they choose. Some words can give you a feeling that makes your heart warm. Republic is one of those words. - John Wayne

Wednesday, February 01, 2006
SOTR Exclusive: Condensed Footage of Kaine Democratic Response Speech
by Bonjo
BREAKING NEWS: Kaine is from Virginia, in case you missed that during his speech.

Good evening. My name is Tim Kaine, I'm the Governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia.

On behalf of the people in my Commonwealth, I offer this response to President Bush's speech earlier this evening. We should note that I don't speak on behalf of everyone in Virginia, which overwhelmingly carried Bush in the last election. But who's keeping track?

One thing that really bothers me is our President's use of the term "state". Virginia is not a state. As I said earlier, it's a commonwealth. If our president wants to be a "uniter", he'd better start talking like one.

Enough about him. Let's talk about Virginia!

In Virginia we're all about bringing people together to find common-sense solutions to our common problems. Well, except for the crippling traffic. And there was that time we raised income taxes in the face of huge budget surpluses.

But somehow, we in Virginia earned the ranking of America's "Best Managed State."

Which really torques me off, since Virginia is a commonwealth, NOT a state.

Speaking of commonwealths, I'd like to see Massachusetts get that ranking. Eat your heart out, Mitt!

Kaine, Voiceover: Two years ago in Virginia, Democrats and Republicans worked together to reform our budget.

Kaine, Voiceover: And, in Virginia, Democrats and Republicans alike worked together to make record investments in education, like historic University of Virginia, located in the beautiful, economically thriving city of Charlottesville.

There are Republicans in the Commonwealth of Virginia, a most distinguishing feature. Pictured here is former moderate Republican Governor Doug Wilder.

Kaine, Voiceover: In Virginia, we've worked to provide health insurance coverage for nearly 140,000 children who weren't covered four years ago.

We remember those who died on sacred ground--here in Virginia--in the attack on the Pentagon.

We've reformed veterans services. And we're working to provide state re-enlistment bonuses ... I mean commonwealth bonuses... to honor those Virginians who stay in service to... commonwealth and country. Heh heh, notice I didn't say "state" that second time.

Kaine, Voiceover: I recently joined Democrats in Washington and in other states--even some commonwealths--and threatened the big oil companies with burdensome taxes that will ultimately hurt the consumer. With those revenues, I plan to invest in Virginia's many tourist attractions, like the Natural Bridge.

The president! Talk about the president!!

Thank you, chairman. I was just getting to that. You know, Thomas Jefferson was elected president in 1800. He was from Virginia, too.

Jefferson and many other presidents earned Virginia the title "Mother of Presidents". With any luck we'll continue that trend! (wink, wink)

George Allen: Thanks, I plan to.

Quiet, George! (ahem) Thank you for listening, and God bless the Commonwealth of Virginia.

2 Comment(s):
He absolutely put me to sleep. But I can tell you I'm very impressed with the "Commonwealth" of Virginia. I'm wondering tho, does that mean there aren't 51 states?
Does he remind anyone else of "Senator Tim Calhoun" on Saturday Night Live.
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