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Republic. I like the sound of the word. It means people can live free, talk free, go or come, buy or sell, be drunk or sober, however they choose. Some words can give you a feeling that makes your heart warm. Republic is one of those words. - John Wayne

Thursday, April 20, 2006
Send In The Next Spear Catcher
by Cordeiro
Yesterday, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellen announced his resignation as the official Spear Catcher for the W Administration White House.

The MSM is trumpeting this as a "major" restructuring effort by W and Company which began with Andy Card's resignation as White House Chief of Staff. They must have a really broad definition of "major". To illustrate the absurdity of this claim, please answer the following two questions (no Googling or other web search allowed):

1) Please list for me the full names of the last three White House Press Secretaries.

2) Please list for me the full names of the last three White House Chiefs of Staff.

Take your time. I can wait.

Ok, Give up? Me too.

After having given much thought and research to the issue, I believe this to be the real reason behind McClellen's departure:

Honestly, dear reader, if every day of your professional life you had to step up to a podium and field inane questions from Helen "Two Bag*" Thomas, how long would you last? This woman is like the mythical Wraith whose immortality is fueled by its ability to suck the life-force from other human beings. Two Bag Thomas has been sucking the life force out of White House Press Secretaries since the Coolidge Administration.

The SOTR wishes Scott McClellen luck in his future capitalistic and hopefully annoyingly (to the Washington Jackasses at least) profitable endeavors. We also hope the White House health coverage plan has a rider for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Here endeth the lesson.

*Two Bag is a reference to an encounter where both parties are required to wear bags over their heads in order to protect one person from the effect of looking upon the other.
4 Comment(s):
I don't know if we can blame Helen. Maybe we can blame the fact that there are fewer people like Jeff Gannon tossing softies?
Obviously you have a problem recognizing sarcasm when you read it. Next thing I know you'll be telling me about the Pro-W media conspiracy.
Just a quick question...

You guys gonna ever fix the link to my site?? In your blog roll??

Ace in the Hole

I'd appreciate it...
Fred, Cordeiro will take care of it on Monday. He wields the power of the blogroll around here, I'll mention it to him when I see him this weekend.

Sorry for the mixup.
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