Friday, June 16, 2006
The Lurch Plan - Appease, Retreat, Surrender
Just one day after showing his allegiance not only to the Jackass Caucus, but also to the Tinfoil Hatted Kos Caucus, the Junior Senator from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, 2004 Presidential Loser, and Vietnam Veteran with a Virtual Memory Syndrome John F. "Lurch" Kerry has penned an editorial laying out his reasons for supporting a position which went down to defeat in the US Senate by a vote of 93-6.
The op-ed piece appears in today's Philadelphia Inquirer. Why a Senator from Massachusetts goes to a Pennsylvania newspaper for column inches is beyond me. Perhaps the Boston Globe has tired of his endless forays into Ohio voting fraud and Bush Derangement Syndrome.
Stock brokers always couch their forecasts with the disclaimer "past performance may not be indicative of future results." With Lurch and his amorphous "Plan", no such disclaimer is necessary. He has but one strategy - appeasement, retreat, and surrender. It is not surprising that Lurch's "Plan" consists of a cut and run strategy. Here are the highlights:
It is time to announce that our combat troops are coming home in 2006. It is time to set a schedule with the new Iraqi government for the phased withdrawal of U.S. combat forces by the end of the year.Great, Lurch. You basically want to tell which ever Abu happens to be running Iraq's al Qeda bombers "Just wait until 2007. We'll leave. You can have the place."
We will not leave Iraq vulnerable. Under my plan, the United States will maintain an over-the-horizon military presence in the Middle East to fight the war on terror and protect regional security interests.Now that's really effective. Just where will this "over-the-horizon" presence be based? As a Vietnam-Veteran (a fact about which Lurch never ceases to tell anyone who will listen) one would think Lurch had learned the lesson of fighting the same battle for the same turf over and over and over. Tasking an "over-the-horizon" force with the impossible task of repeatedly clearing Baghdad of al Qeda inspired terrorists is the equivalent of tasking the Cleveland Fire Department with fighting fires in Manhattan.
Only Lurch and his merry band of Tinfoil Hatted Kos Caucus Members - Scotch Kennedy, Sheets Byrd, Babs Boxer, Cheesbrain Feingold, and Corned Tom Harkin believe they represent a majority of Americans (Congressional Jackasses excluded, of course) in their desire to surrender the Iraqi front of the Global War on Terror.
Americans don't like losers. They like being losers even less. Lurch may attempt to cover his vote for war in Iraq with the thin veil of "I was misled" but it holds less water than his Swiftboat denials. His plan for appeasement, retreat, and surrender will result in the same defeat at the polls he so richly deserved in 2004.
We don't cater to losers, Lurch.
Here endeth the lesson.