Thursday, September 14, 2006
Dusty Harry's Ideas For Homeland Security
For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past few months, summer is over, football season has begun, and mid-term elections are less than two months away.
In his never ending and often pointless crusade to make the Congressional Jackass Caucus look like they are competent to oversee the legislative branch of the government, Senate Minority Leader Dusty Harry (D-Circus Circus) has made a point to insert himself into the national security debate. One of the ways he's done this is to offer an amendment to a Port Security bill recently passed by the house. If you want to navigate the actual bill, its under H.R. 4954.
Here are some of the things Dusty Harry wants to include in the "New Direction" he and Nancy "Bella" Pelosi desire to impose on the American people:
- $64 Million (yes Million) for "health professions diversity programs". Would somebody please tell me how a diversity program is going to improve the national security posture?
- $24 million for sugar beet producers. Yes, dear reader, Dusty Harry considers sugar beets to be a vital security issue.
- $2 million for "bovine tuberculosis herd indemnification". Yep, the threat from cows must be met.
- And, to top off his big plans, Dusty Harry wants to cut funding for terrorist surveillance programs.
When I first read about this, I almost laughed. Dusty Harry hopes to become Majority Leader in the next congressional session. The above listed items are only a few of the laughable issues he wants to spend money on in the name of improving national security. Thankfully, 57 senators saw fit to toss Dusty Harry's ideas in the overflowing dustbin.
Not content to leave it in the trash can unmolested, Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman Pat Roberts (R-KS) offered this option for Dusty Harry's security ideas:
This bill is about real Monday morning quarterbacking. It is about tying the hands of our homeland security and intelligence professionals as they attempt to protect this Nation.Well said, Senator Roberts.
The only way this amendment would make the nation safer is if we made copies of all the reports it requires and carpet bombed Osama bin Laden. I am certain he would suffocate.
Here endeth the lesson.