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Thursday, December 14, 2006
 
Jimmy Malone’s Solution For The “Mahmoud” Problem
by Cordeiro
In normal circumstances, I’d be hesitant to waste valuable keystrokes and bandwidth on Iran’s Head Nutball Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I’d prefer to leave him to his delusional fantasies and let him twiddle his thumbs whilst he waits for the return of the mystical 12th Imam.

Memo to Mahmoud: In case your translation software didn’t catch all of that, yes, I am in fact mocking you. Can you dig that? I knew that you could. End Memo.

Having said that, I prefer to live in a state unfamiliar to Mahmoud – that being the state of reality. Reality being what it the world is, not what I wish the world would be.

Iran is a nation governed by Islamofacist Murdering Thugs. This has been the case for nigh unto 30 years now. At the present time, said Thugocracy is limited as to the damage and havoc they can wreak upon the Middle East. They are obviously not satisfied with operating in their limited scope of destruction, so they have set their sights on the Holy Grail of Terrorism – the Nuclear Bomb. Depending on which intelligence sources you listen to, Iran is within a few years of attaining their mushroom cloud goal.

The world has lived in the shadow of nuclear destruction since August of 1945. The nuclear club has mercifully been limited to nations whose overall strategy for world domination was based on there being a world to dominate. Their cultures desired survival over destruction – life over death. Iran’s culture, or at the very least the culture of the Iranian Thugocracy, does not suffer from a survival instinct. Nuclear holocaust is just fine with them – some would actually prefer incineration to having to live in a world where Israel is still on the map.

You see, when Mahmoud and Company are limited to car bombs, satchel charges, and a 25 year old Air Force, I can laugh off statements like the ones he made yesterday at his Holocaust Denial Conference:

The Zionist regime will be wiped out soon the same way the Soviet Union was, and humanity will achieve freedom.

Today, the worst type of dictatorship in the world is the American dictatorship, clothed in human rights.

The western powers created the Zionist regime in order to expand their control of the area. This regime massacres Palestinians everyday, but since this regime is against nature, we will soon witness its disappearance and destruction.
But when these remarks are made by a country who has both the means (the bomb) and the delivery system (ballistic missiles) to make good on its threat, the game changes drastically.

Some years ago, I wrote a post entitled The Jimmy Malone Guide To International Conflict. It is my singular claim to fame on Blogfather Hugh’s syndicated radio show. Every now and then he’ll play the audio clip from The Untouchables in which Jimmy Malone teaches Elliot Ness how to deal with thugs. Says Malone:

You wanna get Capone? I’ll tell you how to get Capone. If he pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital; you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way. That’s how you get Capone.’
The Baker-Hamilton Iraq Study/Surrender Group believes the first step in solving the myriad of crises facing the Middle East is to engage Iran and Syria in “meaningful” negotiations.

I’m not the first one to beg the question, but I’ll ask it anyway. How does one negotiate with an enemy who is bent on your total destruction? Add to that the question of what the negotiations would entail and you’ve got yourself a rather large conundrum.

I’m not saying dialogue with Iran shouldn’t happen. Negotiations with Iran should take place. The talks should be brief – in fact only a few demands should be put forth. 1. Iran will abandon and shutter its nuclear facilities. 2. Iran will cease any and all support, training, and harboring of terrorists and terrorism. Failure to adhere to these two demands will result in the destruction of Iran to the point that Iran ceases to exist as a nation. Some sort of timetable should be given for the demands to be met. Personally, I think two weeks is more than enough time.

Simply put, Iran cannot be allowed to acquire the tools it desires to impose its will on the Middle East. The Atomic Threshold cannot be crossed by people who won’t think twice about unleashing a power rational people have wisely seen fit to keep bottled for over 60 years. Mahmoud and Company are not rational people.

It is looking more and more like the only action the Iranian mullahs will understand is the destruction of their ability to produce WMDs. If that is, in fact, the case, then the United States and Israel need to stop the diplomatic two-step and defang the Mullahs before their car bombs morph into mushroom clouds.

Here endeth the lesson.
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