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Wednesday, January 17, 2007
 
Jason Miller’s Self-Loathing
by Cordeiro
Normally I don’t even read the tripe which passes for commentary over at the Sludge Blog commonly known as the DailyKos. It takes a lot for me to go there, let alone link to what I’ve found. Usually I rely on Blogfather Hugh’s Dean Barnett as a filter. So, when he declared he’d found the Best Daily Kos Diary Ever, I had to see for myself.

Lo, and behold, enter Jason Miller. Miller hates football in general and the NFL specifially. He loathes the celebration of the quintessential qualities unique to America personified by the greatest game God ever saw fit to put upon His green earth – that being Football.

I love the game of football. To me there is nothing better than tearing open a bag of tortilla chips, cracking open a bottle of good salsa, and popping the top off a bottle of Stewart’s Orange Cream Soda and watching a good football game.

Side note: By “good football game” I’m referring to games akin to the 2007 Tostitos Fiesta Bowl. You will not see a more exciting three minutes of football again in this decade – perhaps in this century. End of digression.

Miller criticizes everything possible about football in genera and the NFL specifically. Of course, for a liberal so far left of center he’s fallen off the edge of the political spectrum, there is a lot about the NFL to criticize. The NFL makes an absurd amount of money from a game focused on the size, speed, and skill of the lowest form of human life possible (according to the uber-feminized left’s scale) – man. Specifically “manly” men. It glamorizes all the things liberals love to hate. In football, barring really, really bad officiating, the best team always wins. There are no head starts. There are no allowances made to “level” the playing field. Eleven men on each side of the ball try and keep the other side from doing what they plan to do. One side wins. That’s life.

You don’t have to read very much into Miller’s rant. Football, and again specifically the NFL, is to blame for all that is wrong with America. Looking for a fundamental scapegoat upon which to blame the American people’s complicity in supporting W and the troops in Iraq? Miller has the answer:

Our unitary executive has run roughshod over our Constitution, caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocents, and blatantly violated the Nuremberg Principles. In his recent television address, the Decider informed us that he will defy the will of the American people by sacrificing more of our own and escalating the genocide against the Iraqi people.

And it would not be beyond our capacity to end these horrendous crimes against humanity. Without the complicity of the masses, Bush, Cheney, et al would be rendered impotent.

Yet we choose to remain transfixed by the alluring seductions of the NFL and its corporate partners.

Regrettably, it appears that many of us in the United States suffer from the delusion that the rest of the world exists to provide for our comfort, pleasure, and prosperity. (emphasis added)
Yes, dear reader, the NFL and all the great American traditions it represents is responsible for all that is wrong in the world. Ban football and the world will be a better place.

I will grant Miller one point. It is, as he quoted a sociologist, a young man has a better chance of being hit by a meteorite than becoming a professional athlete. Only slightly better are his chances of playing in a major bowl game between Christmas and New Year’s Day – though with the ever expanding number of College Bowl Games to choose from, that possibility is more and more of a reality. Millions of young men hold that dream. Miller and people like him would take from young men even the remote possibility of fulfilling their dreams. Life without a dream is drudgery, Jason. Maybe you like to live in drudgery. Those of us that don’t watch football. Football, unless you’re a Cleveland Browns fan, holds the possibility of success.

Miller decries the lack of values and morals personified by the NFL. I have to disagree with him there. The NFL did have the foresight to tell Britney Spears to stay home. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

I feel sorry for Mr. Miller. Really I do. January must be a tough time for him what with Bowl Games and the NFL Playoff season kicking into high gear. Come Super Bowl Sunday I’m sure he locks himself in a soundproof padded room and plays Barry Manilow CD’ at max volume just to keep his sanity.

Jason Miller needs to get himself to a physician and have his testosterone level checked.

Here endeth the lesson.
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