John "Lurch" Kerry - Ready For 2004 in 2007
Well, dear readers, it looks like John "Lurch" Kerry is finally ready to settle the score with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. He's fighting mad about the part they played in derailing his 2004 run for the Oval and he wants them to know the next time they bring up the issues, he'll be ready to fight back.
We have put together a documented portfolio that frankly puts their lies in such a total light of absurdity and indecency, that should they ever rear their ugly heads again, we have every single 't' crossed and 'i' dotted, and I welcome that in a sense. It's a shame we weren't able to produce all that at the time.
Yes. Quite a shame really. In other words, its taken Lurch and Company nearly four years to concoct a rebuttal to the Swift Boat Vets. You'll note Lurch hasn't actually released this "documented portfolio". He doesn't actually address anything the Swift Boat Vets said – he just claims he'll be ready "the next time".
That, to me, smacks of his promise to release his military record for public perusal. Has anybody seen those promised records? Some blogs had a calendar clocking how much time had gone by since Lurch's infamous Meet the Press promise, but I'm sure those calendars have long since maxed out their programming.
Lurch Kerry is a five-term junior Senator and one-time failed presidential candidate. He lives an a delusional world surrounded by the six people who think W stole the 2004 election from him by somehow manipulating Ohio's voting machines. This is the same guy with the Global Test and an endless number of plans to fix everything from unemployment to male pattern baldness.
Since his electoral defeat, not a single one of his much heralded plans has seen the light of day or been introduced as any type of legislation – despite the fact the Democrats now run the Legislative Branch.
Yes, Lurch has promised he'll be ready "next time". The problem is, Lurch, there won't be a next time. Go ahead and cross the t's and dot the i's of your carefully fabricated wishful fiction. Your "portfolio", like your military records, will never see the light of day.
In short, nobody cares about it – or you – any more.
Here endeth the lesson.