Monday, March 03, 2008
Can Texas And Ohio End The Long National Nightmare?
It began in 1992 when Bill and Hillary Clinton rode into Washington DC direct from Little Rock in their white El Camino specially equipped with an astro-turf bed liner. Strains of “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” could be heard from every car window and office radio. The “Man from Hope” – together with his Co-President – were going to save America from the ravages of twelve years of the accursed Reagan-Bush era.
Bill and Hillary Clinton had the Washington Trifecta (White House/House of Representatives/Senate) when they blazed into town. It took them less than two years to run their electoral hot-rod into the ground. After having successfully passed the largest tax increase (retroactive by the way) in American history the Clintons set their sights on their Holy Grail – the US healthcare system.
Bill appointed Hillary – the smartest woman in the world if you asked Bill - as his point-person on healthcare reform. She failed in spectacular fashion and her plan to socialize what was one-seventh of the US economy is credited by most with setting up the Republican electoral blowout that was the 1994 election cycle. In the aftermath of such a devastating backlash, some pundits even went so far as to declare Bill Clinton a “half-term president”.
Scandal and the Clinton White House became nearly if not totally synonymous. From Whitewater to the mysteriously disappearing Rose Law Firm Billing Records (which were evidently beamed directly to Hillary’s White House Closet) to raw FBI Files, the hits just kept on coming, and coming, and coming. The White House Press Corps nearly ran out of creative ways to add “Gate” to the end of Clinton scandal terms.
The Clintons also introduced several new nouns and verbs into the American Lexicon. We all remember the ever increasing number of Bimbo Eruptions – both pre and post election. One of those Bimbo Eruptions nearly ended Bill’s time Oval Office and gave an entirely new definition to “Lewinsky”.
Did we ever really find out how Bill defined “is”?
Now after an exceptionally unremarkable eight-year stint as New York’s Junior Senator, Hillary Clinton is on the verge of joining the ranks of also-rans like Gary Hart and Howard Dean. At least Dean’s implosion was more of a screaming flame-out while Hillary has been more of a slow, painful leak. It appears that was to have been a Super Tuesday Coronation of Her Inevitableness is now on hold – at best.
Despite Hillary’s protestations to the contrary, the Texas and Ohio primaries will either give her campaign a shot in the arm or drive a stake through its heart. If you base your election predictions on the Big Mo Factor, I’d bet on a Texas sized stake.
The question remains as to whether Hillary and her campaign will go out with a whimper after Texas and Ohio or she’ll attempt to go out with a Big Bang in Denver. Personally, I’m rooting for the Mile High Big Bang.
It would certainly make for much more entertaining convention coverage.
Here endeth the lesson.