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Thursday, July 31, 2008
 
Obama Discovers Alternative Fuel
by Cordeiro

I'm thinking about starting a 24 hour cable channel featuring nothing but off-the-cuff Obama riffs unaided by any electronic performance enhancing devices. I'll call it "Obama Unplugged". Here's the latest entry:

 

Yesterday (in yet another one of the places I used to call home) Obama stepped from behind his TelePrompTer equipped lectern in Springfield Missouri and announced that he had discovered the cure for America's dependence on foreign oil. Actually, he's discovered an alternative fuel that will make your car so fuel efficient its doubtful you'll ever need to fill your gas tank again.

 

What's this new fuel? Why I'm glad you asked. No, it's not Mr. Fusion.  It's not a hydrogen fuel cell. It's not even one of those smart cars that are so small they wouldn't survive a head on collision with my son's bicycle.

 

No, dear reader, Obama has gone above and beyond our mere mortal abilities of propulsion. He's discovered that using just plain old ordinary air will get America out of her current fuel crunch. No, I'm not making this up. Stop laughing and watch the video.

 

See? Now dagnabbit, I told you to stop laughing. You know the Obamessiah doesn't take kindly to being laughed at or about. Now go out and make sure your tires are properly inflated or Obama will again be embarrassed by your not heeding his wise counsel.

 

Obama knows about as much regarding improving fuel economy as he does about particle physics. Powerline's John Hinderaker has run the numbers – you know those cold hard things we like to call factual data – and has concluded

 

…it would take only 11,308 years of proper tire inflation to equal "all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling."

 

In the process of business decision making, the accountants always want to know what the "break-even" point is – in other words, the point at which the new venture will have made enough money to pay back the original investment. No business in it's right collective mind would ever enter or advocate a new venture who's break even point was 11,000 years out.

 

Of course, maybe by then our great (to the power of 24 or so) grandchildren will be flying around in cars powered by Mr. Fusion.
 
Here endeth the lesson.

3 Comment(s):
Excuse me dufus, I believe the point he was making was that every little bit helps, and that you can increase your gas efficiency by having your tires inflated to the proper psi. I attended that "town hall" event and understood what he meant. Seriously, dude, find something else to bitch about.
Thanks for making my point. Obama offers much too little to help at all.
im pretty sure the reference is aimed at suggesting a colaborative effort to reduce pollution.

Any free thinking person knows that there will be no single solution to our pollution problems and our dependence on oil.

So I recommend you fill your tyres and stop waiting for other people to solve problems that you are partly the cause of.
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