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Not A. Realperson
Over Donation Limit
Yes, dear reader. Pay no attention to Team Obama's willful solicitation of illegal campaign contributions. Their excuse for accepting contributions from the above rogue's gallery is the lack of safeguards on credit card transactions. Never mind the fact Team Obama turned said safeguards off – purposefully. Even the simplest of fraud detection measures might have put a crimp in Obama's campaign style – and we simply can't have that. The fate of the free world is at stake. What's a few hundred million dollars among friends anyway?
No longer will people like Algore have to show up at a Buddhist temple to collect grocery sacks full of thousand dollar checks from impoverished monks. Obama doesn't even have to bother with that thinly veiled stunt. Forget the checks. MasterCard, Visa, Discover, or AmEx will do nicely. And names? Get real. Or on second thought, make one up. Names are so 20th century. Whatever you feel like calling your self today will do just fine. Addresses? Zip Codes? Employer? Fugettaboutit.
In even an imperfect political world the free and independent constitutionally protected press would be all over this story in an effort to find and expose the illegal money behind a potential president. Don't hold your breath for this to happen during this election cycle. Why? Two reasons, really.
First, the donations in question didn't end up in Republican coffers.
Second, and probably more important, Stiletto Sarah's wardrobe expenses make for better headlines.
McCain’s Spit Veer Strategery
Coach Yoast: Coach, that's a pretty small playbook
Coach Boone: I run six plays. Split veer. It's like Novocain. Give it time. It always works.
The more enlightened among you will recognize this exchange from one of the single greatest films ever made on the subject of high school football – Remember the Titans. If you haven't seen the movie, it's well worth putting in your Netflix queue. If you haven't seen the movie because you just don't like football, then I'm calling into question your patriotism.
The way I see it, John McCain has utilized a "split veer" strategy throughout his campaign. On the football field, the split veer (in all its iterations) isn't a very exciting offensive scheme. Most of the time the offensive play ends up with, as an offensive coordinator once told me, "three yards and a cloud of dust". The ball doesn't get moved very far, but it does go far enough to move the chains. It's not flashy. The crowd gets very bored and doesn't cheer much even when their team scores.
The Anointed Obamessiah, on the other hand, is all about flashy. Team Obama moves the ball seemingly at ease, but only between the 20 yard lines. When it comes down to the red zone, Barry and Company can't punch it through – more often than not due to self inflicted wounds like SlowJoe Biden's guaranteed fumbles and Obama tripping over Joe the Plumber and getting sacked by past ruminations praising the idea of "redistributive change".
The obvious weakness in the split veer strategy is the time it takes to be effective. Team Obama is currently fielding its version of the much maligned "prevent defense". In other words, they believe they've got a big enough lead they can just run out the clock whilst hoping their standard bearer doesn't fall out of his chariot and McCain doesn't get enough momentum in states like Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Colorado to tip the scales to the red balance.
So, for those of you who are looking for a reason to back away from the ledge the MSM would happily fling you from, here's some internal polling data which hasn't been put through the CNN filter.
It's not over until the last chad falls.
Godspeed, Dean Barnett
It is with a deep sadness that I link to the news of Dean Barnett’s passing this afternoon after a long and valiant struggle with Cystic Fibrosis. He was 41 years old.
Dean was one of the early rising stars amongst the conservative side of the blogosphere. His writing was crisp, intelligent, irreverent, and most of all insightful. If there was an important topic about which he found himself uninformed, he went to great lengths to educate himself from the best sources available and pass that knowledge on to his readers in a way which made us all a bit smarter than we would have otherwise been.
I will miss his wit, his wisdom, and yes even his self-described “haddock cutting” Boston accent. The world in general, and the blogosphere specifically, will be a smaller place without him in it.
Breathe easy now, Dean. Godspeed.
A point of personal privilege
Normally I would take this space to applaud John McCain’s performance in last night’s final presidential debate. I may, or most likely may not get around to writing that post today.
Right now, however, I feel the need to write about someone else.
If you’ve been around the blogosphere long enough, you may have read something by Dean Barnett. If you’ve been trolling the ‘sphere as long as I have, you might remember back to when he wrote his SoxBlog under the pseudonym James Frederick Dwight. If so, then you’ve been fortunate enough to witness one of the truly remarkable writers rise from a normal everyday blogger to the status he now enjoys as regular contributor to the Weekly Standard and occasional on-air pinch hitter for Blogfather Hugh.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who holds on to the delusions of grandeur that someday somebody important will read my stuff and offer me that kind of gig. Don’t worry, I’m not holding my breath.
But I digress. Not really, though. Breathing is very important.
Recently, Dean Barnett celebrated his 40th birthday. To some people this is a milestone they’d just as soon forget. Dean isn’t most people. You see, Dean suffers from Cystic Fibrosis. Casual research into this disease will tell you that most people diagnosed with CF don’t make it to 40. Dean has, and in my opinion the world is a better place because of it.
Today, Dean finds himself in the Intensive Care Unit of a Boston area hospital fighting for his life. He contracted a respiratory infection, which would be a nuisance to most anybody else, but to him is life threatening. At last report he remains in very critical condition on a respirator.
I’ve spent my fair share of time in an ICU. The beds are lumpy, the pillows are thin, the food is lousy, and every four hours some lab tech comes by and stabs you in the arm for more blood. Tubes go where you didn’t think tubes would go (yes, I’m talking about down there) and the experience is not one I would wish on anybody.
So, if you have a spare moment today, send a prayer along with Dean’s name on it. I’m sure he’d appreciate it and besides that he still owes me a Diet Coke because he lost the bet that W would dump Big Time Cheney from the ’04 ticket.
The "debate" that wasn't
It has taken me this long to rouse myself from the stupor inflicted upon me by last night’s sorry excuse for a presidential debate. I’ve seen dreadful television in my time and last night was about as entertaining as one of those late night infomercials extolling the virtues of the Clapper.
So exceptionally mind numbing were most of the exchanges by the two candidates that the makers of Ambien CR saw a 36.5% drop in sales overnight. Evidently people figured out they could watch ten minutes of Obama opining on the state of the economy and get the same effect as popping a pill. Ever the fundraiser, Team Obama is now trying to figure out how to monitize the debate video.
Something very eventful did in fact take place last night. The argument can now be made that this particular debate transcript along with its accompanying video footage has now usurped Vogon poetry as the third most hazardous verbal communication known in the universe.
Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.I’m pretty impressed with myself. I can quote meaningless and made up stuff nearly as well as SlowJoe Biden.
Speaking of SlowJoe, you might not have noticed it but he and the entire state of Delaware got thrown under the Team Obama bus as Barry was “taking it” to the greedy capitalists of Corporate America. In case your own major intestine was trying to throttle your brain, here’s what you missed:
And the reason that it’s a problem to go shopping state by state, you know what insurance companies will do? They will find a state — maybe Arizona, maybe another state — where there are no requirements for you to get cancer screenings, where there are no requirements for you to have to get pre-existing conditions, and they will all set up shop there.
That’s how in banking it works. Everybody goes to Delaware, because they’ve got very — pretty loose laws when it comes to things like credit cards.
Hear that all you greedy capitalistic Delawareans? Your laws are “very - pretty loose” over there. Too loose for Barry’s liking. Don’t you go hoping having SlowJoe on the ticket will spare you from Barry’s ire. Remember, all his campaign statements have an expiration date. All of them.
There is a very good explanation why a majority of US corporations are actually Delaware corporations. I could go into it, but just re-reading that single quote of Obama pontificating about that which he knows not has caused my major intestine to warn me of a possible brain throttling.
I’m sure a good solid episode of The Simpsons will reestablish my equilibrium.
SlowJoe's Virtual Memory
I'm not going to even attempt to be fair and balanced in my assessment of last night's St. Louis Smackdown featuring Stiletto Sarah Palin and SlowJoe Biden. In my opinion, it wasn't even close. Stiletto Sarah out shone, out classed, and thoroughly out debated SlowJoe.
My bias may have something to do with the fact that Sarah kept winking at me all night.
But I digress.
The MSM is trumpeting SlowJoe's "victory" on points in that they claim he had a far better command of the issues than did Stiletto Sarah. That might be true if you take SlowJoe's word on every fact he claimed credit for knowing. I'm willing to cut him some slack on getting his Constitutional Articles mixed up and not knowing the exact range of a Pakistani nuclear armed missile. These things happen.
Over at NRO's Campaign Spot, Jim Geraghty has begun to document SlowJoe's "Error/Lie/Hallucination" list. Thus far he's at number 22. One of them jumped out at me and I came to the conclusion that SlowJoe might be suffering from Virtual Memory Syndrome.
See for yourself:
Now referencing a restaurant that had been around up until a year – maybe two – ago? That I can understand. 25-30 years though? That's a stretch, even for a virtual memory.
RESTAURANT: "Look, all you have to do is go down Union Street with me in Wilmington or go to Katie's Restaurant or walk into Home Depot with me where I spend a lot of time and you ask anybody in there whether or not the economic and foreign policy of this administration has made them better off in the last eight years."
According to this Delaware site, Katie's Restaurant is no longer in business; locals remember it on Union Street 25 to 30 years ago.
Had McCain made such a reference, there would be wall-to-wall MSM coverage of McCain's descent into dementia. SlowJoe? This guy can't tell anti-aircraft fire from a heavy snowstorm and has recent memories eating at a place that hasn't existed for 30 years. Of course, SlowJoe gets a pass.
Dusty Harry Torpedoes Insurance Industry
If I had the time and inclination of a Day Trader I'd have short-sold every major insurance company in the industry this morning. Why? Well, Senate Majority Leader Dusty Harry (D-Circus Circus) went before the microphone bank on Capitol Hill last night and boldly declared the following to prove the importance of passing the Rescue Bill as soon as possible:
We don't have a lot of leeway on time. One of the individuals in the caucus today talked about a major insurance company -- a major insurance company -- one with a name that everyone knows that's on the verge of going bankrupt. That's what this is all about.
Take a moment to re-read that statement, dear reader. In the wake of the AIG collapse, the Senate Majority leader warns of a "major insurance company" – "one with a name that just about everyone knows" is about to go belly up. What's worse is Dusty Harry didn't name a specific "major insurance company" by name. Therefore the entire industry has taken it in its collective shorts during today's trading.
Well, as of this writing any "major insurance company" that wasn't close to bankruptcy just got a lot closer. Here's a sampling:
Prudential: Down 4.21%
MetLife: Down 14%
Travelers: Down 4.2%
AFLAC: Down 6%
And those are just the major ones I know off the top of my head.
Couple Dusty Harry's loose lips with those of UpChuck Schumer which (directly or indirectly) led to a run on IndyMac Bank and the Senate Jackass Caucus has cost the American economy nearly five billion dollars in the past two months.
Dusty Harry did not find his way back to the microphone bank to apologize for his loose lipped torpedoing of the insurance industry. He sent out a spear catching spokesman to issue this weak statement:
Senator Reid is not personally aware of any particular company being on the verge of bankruptcy. Rather, his comments were meant to refer to the conditions in the financial sector generally. He regrets any confusion his comments may have caused.
Well, it looks like some of Gwen Ifill's debate prep has been leaked to the internet. Here's some of the questions you can expect in tonight's Stiletto Sara and SlowJoe Show Down in St. Louis:
Now perhaps Jim Treacher just made all that stuff up. Maybe he's just illustrating absurdity by being absurd.Mayor Palin, Barack Obama is a handsome, charismatic demigod. How many boxes of Kleenex will you need after your crushing loss?
Senator Biden, what is your favorite color? And if you have time for a follow-up question: Why?
Mayor, you talk funny and you own a tanning bed. Why haven't you released Trig's birth certificate?
Senator, have you seen those pictures of Obama in his swim trunks? If not, I have them right here.
Mayor, what are the names, ages, and blood types of all 71 members of the Belgian Senate? And why are you unwilling to admit that your inability to instantly produce any and every fact I demand makes you unfit to stand in the way of history?
Senator, you've spoken at length. Could you please continue?
Mayor, which is your preferred method of stifling dissent, banning books or burning them? Since it's both, please explain how you can deny the accusation that you're a fascist, which I am making now.
Senator, could you please sign my book?
Double Team Debate
I wish I could say I'm surprised by today's Drudge headline "VP Debate Moderator Releasing 'Age of Obama' Book On Inauguration Day". I wish I could say I'm stunned by the obvious conflict of interest this presets for someone who claims to be an unbiased "moderator" to have such an obvious inclination toward a particular candidate.
But I'm not. This is, after all, the Age of the ObamaMedia. For them – with very few exceptions – the vote on November 4 is just a formality. The outcome is a forgone conclusion. Hope and Change are coming – personified by the Obamessiah and SlowJoe Biden.
The illusion of an unbiased Press has become so thin its as if the MSM doesn't even bother to hide the fact they believe using every asset at their disposal to put Obama in the Oval Office is their duty as world citizens. No praise of Obama is too great, and no shot at McCain is too cheap as to not be used in this effort.
I have participated in contests where it was obvious as to whom the moderator/referee favored. Victory is still possible in those situations although it is made all the more difficult by having to beat not one but two opponents at the same time.
Having said that, I fully expect Stiletto Sarah Palin to clean the floor with SlowJoe Biden tomorrow night. SlowJoe hasn't had an original thought in nearly three decades and his tendency to insert his foot to his mouth and chew on the kneecap is well documented. So I guess if with the SlowJoe handicap aided by obviously biased moderator it makes the odds even for Team Obama.
And before my left leaning readers start feigning outrage at my bluntness about "their" moderator, I'd like to ask one simple question: When was the last time you saw a Presidential Debate moderated by an unapologetic conservative moderator? Three points if you can name one moderated by a journalist who was set to release "Age of Reagan/Bush 41/Bush 43" before the debate even started.
Here endeth the lesson.